


What You Really, Really Want (The By the Skin of Her Teeth Remix)

by PhoenixFalls



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (kind of), Character Study, Dark!Pepper, F/M, Missing Scene, Multi, POV Female Character, Pepper Feels, Possessive Pepper, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-08 20:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFalls/pseuds/PhoenixFalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Pepper & Tony convince Bruce to come with them to a fundraiser, the night ends in a kidnapping attempt. Thanks to the Hulk they all escape with little more than minor injuries, but these are hardly the circumstances Pepper would have wanted for her first meeting with the big guy. After she gets her men home and safe, she rides out the inevitable reaction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Really, Really Want (The By the Skin of Her Teeth Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Penknife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penknife/gifts).
  * Inspired by [What You Really, Really Want](https://archiveofourown.org/works/533974) by [Penknife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penknife/pseuds/Penknife). 



> This takes place between the last two scenes of "What You Really, Really Want," but there are probably echoes of the "[Living Dangeously](http://archiveofourown.org/series/20385)" series in here as well. It should make sense without having read any of Penknife's work, but why would you deny yourself that pleasure?
> 
> Many thanks to [51stCenturyFox](http://archiveofourown.org/users/51stCenturyFox/pseuds/51stCenturyFox) for the beta!

Pepper was shaking.

She had been shaking since the hospital, since they were waiting for the results of the x-rays on her ankle and Tony’s skull that confirmed that nothing was broken and he didn’t have a concussion, little tremors under her skin that she couldn’t stop. When she stood to herd her men into the waiting car she was grateful that she had lost her heels, because she didn't think she could have walked steadily on them.

Neither Tony nor Bruce noticed. She was grateful for that too.

In the car, Pepper watched Tony coax Bruce into taking some Valium and finally give in to the post-Hulk exhaustion. Tony tried to keep himself up a few minutes longer, but she kept her eyes focused on her phone, rescued from the wreck of the car and gripped tight to still the trembling in her hands. After a few minutes he listed to the side and started snoring into Bruce’s neck.

That was good. That meant that neither of them resisted Matt’s and Luke’s hands, gently pulling them from the car when they got back to the tower, getting them settled into wheelchairs borrowed from the clinic on the 62nd floor. Luke spotted her tremble when she punched in the access code in their private elevator, but she caught his eyes and shook her head. She didn’t need his concern.

As they were getting Tony & Bruce settled into the bed, she grabbed some cash from the console by the door to tip them. Matt tried to refuse, but Pepper was insistent, and thanked them as they got back in the elevator to return to the guard station.

JARVIS was silent, but after she changed into her warmest pajamas a beep from the kitchen let Pepper know that he had made her some hot chocolate. Pepper pulled a stool up to the counter in front of the machine and pulled her mug close, curling down over it rather than picking it up and risking a spill.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the rich, moist scent of chocolate and cinnamon. After a minute JARVIS cued up some music, and Pepper smiled when she recognized the soft strains of Bonnie Raitt’s slide guitar.

The first time he had tried to comfort her, JARVIS had simply applied what he knew of Tony’s habits. Needless to say, Ozzy Osbourne screaming “All aboard!” as loud as the speakers would go didn’t have the effect he was going for, and he had been vaguely embarrassed and apologetic for days afterward.

Years later now, JARVIS knew Pepper almost as well as he knew his creator, and his predictive routines had become significantly more sophisticated. Bonnie Raitt was the exact right choice, and Pepper felt a little of the tension in her shoulders relax.

Her brain wanted to go over the crash, the sudden bang, then the pull of wheel out of her control, the absolute shock as the road flipped in the front window. The moment when the car came to a stop and the world felt like it was holding its breath, then the shattering of that stillness by a gunshot and the realization that someone had done this to them. Fumbling for a gun in hands slick with sweat or blood, blurred vision making her aim terrible; trying to help Bruce pull Tony’s limp body to somewhere more sheltered.

Begging Bruce to help.

Pepper was pulled from her reverie by JARVIS’s soft “Ms. Potts?”

She blinked down at her mug, still encircled by her white-knuckled grip and long grown cold. Apparently she had been sitting here for a while. She consciously loosened her fingers and discovered the shaking had stopped.

“Yes, JARVIS?”

“Might I suggest you join Masters Stark & Banner in the bedroom, Ms. Potts? I have prepared another hot chocolate for you, but you will certainly be more comfortable drinking it there.”

Pepper gathered the fresh mug and slid off the stool. Her legs felt a little wobbly still, but they held for the limping walk back to the bedroom, JARVIS turning off the music and lights behind her.

They pulled her up short in the doorway, however, Bruce’s profile against the sheets sending a burst of adrenaline through her system again. She gripped the mug tightly and exhaled slowly, counting to ten.

She had met the Hulk.

She had met the Hulk, and he was. . . terrifying. So much power, so little control. Wearing Bruce’s face, but distorted by a rage the likes of which Pepper had never seen.

Part of Pepper wanted to get as far from the Hulk as possible, never wanted to see him again. But that would mean losing Bruce, his kindness, his wry, self-effacing humor, and the way he and Tony both lit up around each other, Tony the spark to Bruce’s kindling, leading to (sometimes quite literal) conflagrations.

And Pepper had faced this fear before. She had felt it the very first time Tony blew up his workshop, and felt it again every time she found him designing weapons drunk. She clenched her jaw and didn’t flinch when he reached for her in the wreckage of the Expo, brought her hands up to caress the damaged chestplate of the suit despite the shocking heat of the metal, and kissed him in the face of her fear.

It was nowhere near as frightening as the morning that she walked back in to work after killing Obadiah for Tony, after all. That morning she had seen the evil that lived in her, the monster that could press a button that would lead to a man’s death without hesitation, and sleep soundly afterward.

Her men were very likely better people than Pepper was. Tony had transformed himself entirely out of guilt for the deaths he had been unwittingly made a part of, and every time the Hulk gave way to Bruce again Pepper could see the horror and shame in Bruce’s eyes at what his alter-ego had done in their defense. Pepper felt none of that.

She hated the violence, the danger, the ever-present threat that one or more of them would not make it home. She hated the adrenaline coursing through her system, the way she could not control her body the way she normally would. She hated standing here in the doorway of her bedroom, her ankle aching, because the sight of a man she was beginning to love brought all of that back to the surface.

And so she didn’t give a damn about the people who caused all of that. They had threatened what was hers, and they deserved to suffer for that. Six of the eight men were dead; a seventh would likely never walk again. All Pepper thought of that was “Good.”

Bruce and Tony wouldn't see it that way. Tomorrow, Tony would scramble to figure out what he missed, what it was he should have seen to avoid the entire situation, to avoid putting her in danger and making Bruce defend them. Tomorrow, Bruce would retreat into self-flagellation, and would be watching closely to see if either she or Tony hesitated even the tiniest bit at his touch. Tomorrow, they both would dig through SHIELD’s intel to see if the dead men had left anyone behind that needed to be cared for.

And so tonight Pepper needed to push through this, exorcise the tight clench of her fear of violence and the trembling tension of her rage at their enemies. Because if she was still feeling this way tomorrow, Bruce and Tony think it was because of them, that her fear was of Bruce and her anger was at Tony. Tonight she needed to pull herself back together, so that in the morning she could tease Tony and embrace Bruce, give them something to anchor themselves to in the aftermath. Because she wanted – really, really wanted – to keep the both of them.

Tony and Bruce were hers, and they were worth the danger, worth the violence, worth the darkness in her soul that she likely never would have seen had she gone to work for a museum and married a poet. She would do whatever she had to to keep them safe and make them happy.

One more deep breath, then Pepper pushed off the doorframe and walked over to the bed. Bruce was curled up on himself on the far right of the mattress and Tony was sprawled in the middle, so Pepper placed her cooling mug on the left-hand bedside table and crawled in next to them. She wasn’t ready to sleep yet, so she pulled out a tablet so she could read. Tony stirred beside her at one point, cuddling into her hip; Bruce woke for a moment to apologize, because that’s what he did; but other than that the night was quiet around her, safe. By morning she’d be able to feel that safety bone-deep, and until then she’d hold on to her calm by the skin of her teeth.


End file.
